Tag Archives: Parenting

The Opportunity Gap Myth

The Opportunity Gap Myth

By Josh Loveless

This is my first real blog post.  I am not sure I know how to write a blog.  But I do know you have to write about something close to you or something you are passionate about.  For me that’s the politics and sociology of the United States of America, the land of opportunity.

That word, opportunity, was used constantly during the 2012 Presidential Election cycle by both parties.  Each side claims that there is a gap in the opportunities available to American citizens.  One side fervently argues that the rich have more opportunity because of outdated policies and loopholes.  The other side fervently argues that opportunity for the middle class is dwindling because of excessive government and out of control spending.  Both sides however agree that there is in fact a gap in opportunity.

This is a long held belief in America, that access to opportunity is important and that some have more access than others.  In other words, as President Obama likes to quip, the “Playing field is not level.”  It is strongly believed by many that opportunity abounds for the wealthy members of our society and that there are little or no opportunities for the poor.  I guess the middle class is the median by this proposal?

In order to understand a potential opportunity gap we first have to understand what opportunity is.  I am not trying to patronize here.  I want to go beyond the definition.  We all know that opportunity means a chance for success.  But where does it actually come from, where do the conditions necessary for success originate?

First, life itself IS an opportunity.  Simply being born and remaining alive means we have the chance to experience first-hand both the good and the bad that a human existence has to offer.  To all humanity that opportunity is simply inherent and equal.

Then there are environmental opportunities.  These opportunities exist simply by where and to whom a person was born, and with what natural gifts they may have.  A person born in Central Africa does not have the same environment as a person born in Mongolia, Venezuela, or Canada.  Access to natural resources, level of education and culture are obviously different for every person.

I hope that we are all mature enough to recognize that you cannot “level the playing field” when it comes to environmental opportunities.  Technology has helped somewhat, but there will always be differences that cannot be reconciled.  Genetics alone prove that beyond any shadow of doubt.

So when we talk about opportunity gap we are talking about the things we have control over.  In other words we are talking about conditions that we as human beings create.  That’s an important concept.  These types of opportunities are not inherent.  Somebody somewhere must exert some effort to manufacture this opportunity.

This would be the difference between say an Ivy League education and a community college education, and furthermore no education at all.  Someone believed that they could create a superior education experience and therefore built a school and offered at a premium a quality education.  It is this “pool of created opportunities” that politicians believe can be leveled through government taxes, regulation, and policy.

But I personally find this notion to be the greatest of all American fallacies.  The idea itself is contrary to the very nature of these “opportunities of creation”.  It implies that there are a limited number of total opportunities, and therefore a limit on human intelligence.  It implies that once created, it can only exist in a finite box.  While that may be true to the extent that there are only 24 seats in a certain Harvard classroom, there is nothing to say that Harvard can’t build another.  Or, that a competitor can’t build a new and improved class and campus that allows for additional students.

The very idea that there will ever be a “level playing field” is a small minded one.  In fact it is when the playing field is the least level that opportunity abounds.  It is out of struggle that ideas are born and creativity abounds.  If humans had perfect minds that functioned like a computer we would never have invented the computer in the first place.  That’s just a rudimentary example, but I hope you see my point.

To further explain my view on this point you need to know a little about my background.  Yes, I am a white male living in the U.S.  I was born into a white family with two parents who tried to raise me correctly.  It was not a perfect home but it was a home and from that perspective I would never be one to argue that my access to environmental opportunities wasn’t very great.

But we struggled too.  My parents had six children.  My Dad worked hard, but we sometimes struggled.  I love my parents, they always made sure that I had clothes on my back and food and a roof under which to live.  As I became a teenager the struggles deepened.

My Dad lost his job.  He remained out of work or was severely under-employed for many years.  My Mom became the main breadwinner of the family.  I love my Mom and she worked hard at a local eye doctor.  But she had no education and her salary wasn’t exactly above poverty-line.  She would supplement by cleaning offices at night, a task that I helped her with throughout high school without pay.

Bills mounted just like they do for everyone.  Life just happens.  Let’s just say I know what people mean when they talk about the taste of government cheese.  It became apparent to me that if I wanted to have a few “extras” in my life I would need to work.  So at age 14 I got my first job.  By 15 I recognized my income simply wasn’t going to cut the mustard if I wanted new school clothes, or the chance to have an occasional lunch that wasn’t in a paper sack.

I started taking multiple jobs at a time, working fervently during the school year and doubly so over the summers.  I have worked full time (36+ hours) since that time (with the exception of my mission, which was 16 months).  Oh I have worked every job imaginable.  I have dug ditches, sold shoes, moved pipe, cleaned pig stalls, and even spent a summer working in a lake of human feces because it was the highest paying job I could find (that’s not a metaphor, nor am I exaggerating).

I did this in order to create opportunity for myself.  I did this to give myself comfort both in the present and in the hope of a better future.  While everyone else was enjoying their high school years, playing sports, going on dates, attending something called a prom (something I never experienced) I was working.

This was in South East Idaho.  The school I went to wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great.  Many of the teachers were full-time farmers and part-time teachers.  I struggled to manage my grades and work full time.  But I still worked hard at it, recognizing even then that my access to education opportunities were “shrinking” every day.

After high school I applied to several universities.  But as you know, they are competitive.  They didn’t care that my modest GPA (3.4) was the result of my workload.  If they had looked at my transcript they would have seen straight A’s in over 10 AP classes.  I didn’t get into the schools I wanted, but I did get accepted to BYU.  I was ecstatic.

I did all the things I was supposed to do.  I applied for grants, but got denied.  I applied for scholarships, but didn’t qualify.  I applied for government loans, but the approved amount was not sufficient (the student loan program didn’t work then like it does now).  I applied for other commercial loans to make up the difference, but I had no credit.

It became pretty obvious that a university education was not in the cards for me at that time in my life.  My opportunities again appeared to be “shrinking”.  I suppose if I applied today’s societal thoughts to my situation I would have been pretty bitter.  I mean hadn’t I been paying into the system just like any other worker?  I had been paying thousands in taxes since age 14.

But I didn’t accept that.  I didn’t think that way.  Instead I went to work.  I found my way into the IT industry.  I looked for ways to get a real world education and move up the ladder.  I busted my butt, working nights and weekends, sometimes 70 or more hours a week.  In other words I paid my dues; I created opportunity for myself when it appeared none existed.

So now here I am at age 34.  I admit, I’ve had a good run.  I’ve finally got an income and a job that is helping me pay for that university education.  I don’t have tons of discretionary money, but it’s enough that I can take the kids out to eat once in a while.  It’s enough that we can afford one moderate family vacation each year.  It’s enough that I can put my kids in organized sports and maybe give them piano lessons.  It’s enough that I get to help create opportunities for my children that I simply didn’t have access to.

It’s not the rich life, but it’s a good one.  These are the opportunities that I have created for myself.  They weren’t given to me.  I didn’t take them from someone else.  My having them doesn’t lessen the chance of anyone else in the world to do the same or better.

But now here we are back at my original point.  In 2013 the United States is facing a fiscal cliff.  For all intents and purposes we are hurling at this cliff at an incredible speed.  The argument of a “level playing field” that was campaigned so heavily on has still not been decided.  We are very likely to drive over the cliff at full speed, just so that each side of the debate can “prove a point”.

President Obama once said, “Elections have consequences”. This is so very true, if not somewhat obvious and patronizing.  In this case I want you the reader to know what the consequence is for me and my family.  If we go over the fiscal cliff my federal taxes will overnight jump by a substantial margin.  In fact, the margin is high enough that my entire discretionary budget will be wiped out completely.

That means I don’t get that extra time off to enjoy my small vacation.  It means I have to back to working harder to cover the incidentals that just happen because life happens.  It means more long nights and weekends, and more paying dues.  It means I won’t be able to finish my university education after all.  It means that my kids probably won’t get those music lessons I was hoping to provide.  It means my family will have less to spend on leisure activities and vacations that build our family morale.  It means they probably won’t get to play team sports for a while.

Now I ask you the reader, is that what is meant by “leveling the playing field”?  How is that level?  So it is to be believed that because my environmental circumstances were slightly more favorable than another’s, that they deserve the opportunities that I have created for myself?  This, some believe, is fairer?  Who is this mysterious arbiter of fair, because I have some words for them.

In this small minded, selfish, modern philosophy it is to be believed that because of the color of my skin, the place of my birth, my gender, my parentage, or my religion that I am less deserving or less “entitled” to the fruits of my labor.  It is to be believed that my opportunities should be taken from me and given to another.  More troublesome, the opportunities I have created for my children must be taken so that others may have them.

Surely when you look at the life of a single middle-class American family faced with higher taxes, decreased wages due to inflation, higher costs for basic goods and services, you the reader can see the disparity of this philosophy.  I at least hope you can.  I have never been, nor will I ever be, ashamed to be an American.  But this idea is wrong.  It is shameful. And it is disgusting.

I have hope for myself because I do not believe in this philosophy.  I do not believe there is a limit to the number and types of opportunities in this world.  I do not believe that there is in fact a finite pool of chances that have to be “spread around”.  I do not believe in the myth of the opportunity gap.

And it’s not that I am heartless.  Remember? I know what government cheese tastes like.  I give as much as I am able to charities that directly benefit folks in need.  But then that too will be affected by the approaching fiscal cliff.  In fact the idea that this philosophy of a “level playing field” is a “Christian” one is even more of a fallacy.  If you disagree, I would simply point you Jesus’ parable of the talents (Mathew 25: 14-30).  I don’t see anywhere in there where the man who magnified his talents was told to give it to the one who did not.

I will find a way, as I always do when faced with adversity, to create new opportunities for myself and my family.  But if I am being honest with myself, it’s getting harder every day to be the optimist.  It’s getting harder every day to believe that I can create more opportunity for myself and others.  Because when I do, I know that someone out there will believe that he/she has claim to the fruits of my labor.  I’ve been working full time for 20 years now, and some days I feel really old and tired.  I don’t think that is what 34 is supposed to feel like.

LIFEZILLA:  I hear a laugh track every time I open my wallet

Your Parenting SUCKS

Your Parenting SUCKS

I was going to write about my take on the Presidential debates.  I have several notes and clever one-liners I wanted to write.  But I’m not going to.  This morning I saw this article, about a twelve year old girl who was murdered by two teenage brothers.  They lured her into their house, strangled her, and stuffed her body into a recycling bin. Why?  They wanted PARTS of her bike.  She was murdered because they wanted parts of her BMX bike.

Now, I’m not naïve.  I know violent crime is nothing new.

I just looked at the title of this article and I want you to know I’m not blaming THESE parents for what happened.  In fact it was the boy’s mother who tipped off the police.  For that she should be applauded.

What I want to write about is parenting in general.

I consider both my wife and myself experts in parenting.  Not because of any classes, or degrees or…well…anything you can point a finger at.  It certainly isn’t because we are smart.  (My wife is smart.  I’m pretty stoopid).  We are “experts” based solely on the fact that we have raise (and are raising) four young men who, so far, have turned out to be pretty good kids (knock on wood).  Now, again, I’m not naïve.  I’m SURE my kids do, and have done crap I don’t know about.  And I know a lot of it has to do with who they choose as friends.  My question is, why not talk to them about their friends?

In my humble opinion, as far as parenting goes, you are only as successful as your stupidest kid.  If you have two kids, one who is an Olympic gold medalist and the other is robbed by a prostitute, guess what?  You failed as a parent.

You may remember several months ago some kids (11 – 13 year olds) bullied an elderly bus monitor and recorded the whole thing so they could put it on Youtube.  Let me tell you, if any of those kids were mine, I would STILL be raining blows upon them.

I was conversing with a co-worker recently who was talking about his kid’s football games.  He claims the league requires that there be police present at the games to keep the parents in line.

Seriously.

Here is another story.  It’s about a mother being arrested for encouraging her daughter to fight.

Quick side note: I asked my mom if I was a gifted child.  She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

My question is, where the hell are the grown ups?  What is wrong with talking to your kids about morals and values?  I’m not even saying religion.  If religion isn’t your thing you can still have the “we don’t treat people like that,” or the “we don’t dress like that,” or the “that doesn’t belong to you” talk.  It isn’t hard.  You just have to open your pie hole.  I understand the desire to be friends with your kids, but someone has to be the adult.  Grow up.

I recently had a teaching opportunity with my boys.  I told them about my friends in high school.  At the end of my junior year the group of boys I hung out with was getting…hmmm…at little “rougher” than I wanted.  They weren’t bad guys.  They were just getting into partying and drinking.  So my senior year I changed friends.  I wasn’t a jerk.  I didn’t come across as “holier than thou.”  I was friendly.  I just didn’t hang with them anymore.  My point is I told my kids they can stand up for themselves without being a jerk and without being afraid.

Another quick side note: I gave one of my sons a glue stick instead of chapstick last weekend. He still isn’t talking to me.

I remember one time talking to a lady about her kids.  She said, “Well I don’t want to get in the way of their free will.” I remember thinking, “You’re an idiot.”  Free agency or free will (I believe) is a true principle.  But if you let your children play on a busy street because they want to, you’re an idiot. You need to let them know there are guide lines, and consequences to every decision they make.  You can make the decisions all day long, but you have to live with the consequences.  There’s no choosing those.

 

LIFEZILLA:  There’s no place like home…except Lifezilla.

My first venture into blogging….

Before I launch into this I have to tell you, I HATE the word “Blog.”  I don’t really know why, I just always have.

A few months ago I wrote about the death of  Andrew Breitbart and the influence his book had on my life.  His book inspired me, so I started writing, occasionally, for a non-profit organization called United Families International.  To test me out they asked me to write about a recent conference of Pedophiles.  I was a little weirded out on the topic.  Before this “assignment” the only thought I had given to pedophiles (other than being grossed out) was thinking that 20 mph in a school zone seemed the optimal speed for someone checking out kids.  I then read a couple of articles and looked at a few websites.  And let me tell you, there is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to help you feel clean after reading what these people have to say.

So, I wrote the following…

Normalizing Pedophilia

Several years ago I was driving home and passed a neighborhood I pass every day.  It is backed away about 75 yards, semi-secluded, from a very busy street.  I was rounding the corner on this busy street and saw a child, no more than three years old, on a corner.  There wasn’t a parent in sight.  I quickly went through the options in my mind.  Do I keep driving and hope the kid doesn’t get struck or abducted, do I stop, put the kid in my car, or walk with the child and try to find his home?

Being a man, and a father, I immediately knew I wasn’t going to allow the child to come near my car.  I also knew I wouldn’t be thrilled if I saw someone I didn’t know walking up my street with my child.  So I figured I would tell the kid to go home.  I pulled over, rolled down the passenger side window, and kindly said, “You need to go home”.  The kid looked up at me, with snot running down his binky.  “Go home”, I said again, “You need to go home”.  I received a blank stare.  “Your Mom wants you to go home.  Go home”.  Nothing.  So I switched tactics.  I furrowed my brow and yelled, “GO HOME RIGHT NOW!!!”  The child let out a wail, turned around and went crying home.

So, I hear you asking, what’s your point?

Earlier this month (August 17, 2011) there was a Baltimore conference aiming to “normalize” pedophilia.  Oh, you read correctly.  A conference to “normalize” pedophilia – a conference!  That means more than just Pervy McPervertson  and his cousin Sicky McSickyson were in attendance.  I’m talking a group of some of the “best and brightest” researchers from several prominent U.S. universities were there as well.  What was the goal of this conference? Well, according to the sponsoring organization’s (B4U-ACT) website they want to discuss ways to revise of the American Psychological Association (APA) classification of pedophilia.

Why?

How it works is these groups of pedophiles (it makes me wonder how they initially meet) sponsor meetings with members of the APA, to persuade them to redefine or remove “several long-recognized categories of mental illness” from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

According to Linda Ames Nicolosi, publications director of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH):

 “Normalizing” pedophilia would have enormous implications, especially since civil laws closely follow the scientific community on social-moral matters”, she continued, “If pedophilia is deemed normal by psychiatrists, then how it can remain illegal?  It will be a tough fight to prove in the courts that it should still be against the law.”

 Sadly this kind of advocacy isn’t new.  Years ago similar groups tried to “normalize” pedophilia by calling it “intergenerational sex”, arguing there was nothing wrong with it as long as the adult involved with the child/children was not an “authority figure”.

I KNOW!!!  The first time I heard that I rolled my eyes so hard I fell out of my chair!

And thus, the point of my story.  EVERY child considers an adult an “Authority Figure”.  I barely flexed my “authority figure” muscle and scared a child into running home.  Any adult can scare or manipulate children.  We need to make sure parents are aware of this agenda and take steps to make sure their plans don’t get a foot hold.

To listen to an interview with Matt Barber, Vice President of Liberty Counsel Action, who was in attendance at the B4U-ACT conference of pedophiles, go here.

LIFEZILLA: Where the “Hokey Pokey” really IS what it’s all about.

 

Top One Percenters – and the “WTF” Generation

I write for United Families International every once in a while.  This is an article I wrote on November 9, 2011

Top One Percenters – and the “WTF” Generation

I don’t know who is in charge of making up the generation titles, “Baby Boomers”, “Gen X”, and “Gen Y”, but if the powers that be came to me, your humble narrator, to name the current generation, this Gen-Xer I would have to go with the “WTF generation”.  It’s all the kids talk about, “WTF, WTF, WTF”.  It is like the world didn’t exist before Wikipedia, Twitter, and Facebook, the kids these days they just… (what, what was that?  Oh… WTF is already an acronym?).  Well, let’s move on, shall we?

When the whole OWS (Occupy Wall Street) thingy started it meant exactly jackus squatus to me.  I have no problem with people protesting, I believe people should have the right to assemble.  And, to be honest, I understand their beef.  There is corruption on Wall Street, and those people should be held accountable.

Then they started in on the whole “we are the 99 percent” thing, I started to question their motives.  It seemed to me the “hope and change” crowd turned into the “divide and conquer” crowd.  The battle lines were clearly drawn to hate the rich.  I wanted to know who the 1 percent I was supposed to hate was before being lumped into having these guys represent me.  Especially since it seems the few legitimate protesters have been taken over by the drug addicted, rape legitimizing, anarchic, “when it’s okay to shoot “Fascist” Police Officers”  left-wing choo-choos.

According to Kay Bell of bankrate.com  Top 1 Percent: How Much Do They Earn?  in order to be considered a member of the ultra elite/hated 1 percent  you need to have a household income of $343,927.  Now for the record, I’m DEFINITELY NOT a one percenter.  And I don’t hate them, I’m not jealous of them, I’m envious of them.  If I could come up with a good idea, work hard, and sell my goods or service and become a one percenter, I would be all over it.  In fact if someone is willing to teach me, I’m all ears.

Three-hundred-thousand as a household income, although it is enough zeros to impress my accountant, doesn’t sound like that much money.  Pretty much any celebrity, sports figure, anyone mildly famous, and…oh…roughly 44% of New York City residents in 2007 were in the top one percent of earners.

According to Kay Bell, “The 1.4 million Americans in the IRS’ top taxpayer category in 2009 reported nearly 17 percent of all the country’s taxable income. From those filers, the IRS collected $318 billion or almost 37 percent of all the individual taxes paid in 2009”.  Obviously the top 1 percent aren’t all Wall Street tycoons.  Now, I’m not excusing Wall Street at all, but after listening to some of the complaints it seems to me there is plenty of blame to go around: Congress, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, and even the Universities, for those who are complaining about the cost of tuition.

For those complaining there aren’t any jobs, go make one.  America is still the land of opportunity.  Some five years ago Mark Zuckerberg was a poor college kid, today he is one of the riches men in the world.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  But if you have time to occupy a little piece of sidewalk for a month, you have time to lay the foundations for something meaningful.

Just for fun, let’s say we take the top 1 percent and we took ALL their money.  Taxed every penny.  Two things would happen.  1) it wouldn’t change the “parade candy” spending policies of Washington, it would just embolden them to spend more, 2) All you would have done is create a brand new top 1 percent.  That is why whipping up the masses to grab their torches and pitchforks toward one group is less then clever.  Besides, a mob doesn’t know when to stop.  That was the difference between the French Revolution and the American Revolution.

So, what should do we do? WTF just get involved.  Let your kids, friends, co-workers, spouses, or life-partner-of-the-month know where you stand.  WTF you don’t have to “be out there”, to get involved.   Oh, and remember WTF is for Wikipedia, Twitter, and Facebook.  Be educated on the facts and then be involved.