Tag Archives: Gay Marriage

You Got Married? That’s So Gay!

So, as much as it kills me (and it does cause me physical pain) I’m going to throw in my two cents on this whole gay marriage thing that is happening in Utah.

If you don’t know, or if you have been living under a rock, on December 20, 2013 U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby ruled that the Utah state ban on gay marriage violated the U.S. Constitution.

If you’re new here (you may be the seventh person to find this) I have already brilliantly written my take on gay marriage before, you can find it here.

I’ll try to keep this fresh.

special

Our founding fathers were obsessed with the separation of powers. They didn’t want the federal government to grow out of control, and so they set up checks and balances. They did recognize there were certain things the federal government needed to be in charge of: making money, immigration, declaring war, you know…stuff like that. To help ensure the restriction on the growth of the federal government they gave us the 10th amendment. It reads:

“The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”

In other words, any issue not specifically mentioned in the Constitution for the federal government to have dominion over (for lack of a better word) is up to the states to decide.

Government's duty

Let me illustrate an example of the federal government overreaching its authority. Let’s say there is a small, random state of roughly 3 million people. The people of the state don’t want to have fluoride added to the water. They don’t care if other states put fluoride in theirs, it just isn’t for them. They vote and add it to their states constitution that they are a “No fluoride in the water” state. Sixty-six percent of the voters come out in favor of this resolution. BUT…there are a few dentists in the state who disagree with the will of the people. “How can the state not want fluoride?” they argue. “There is no evidence that it hurts anyone.” So they sue, and find a federal judge who interprets the “everlasting gobstopper clause” of the US constitution as saying the will of the people is wrong. And so the state district attorney immediately starts pouring fluoride in drinking water.

That is exactly what happened with gay marriage in Utah.

“But Danny,” you whine, “not everyone is Utah voted on that amendment, what about the will of the people who didn’t vote?”  This is going to sound super harsh to my butt-hurt liberal friends, but if they didn’t vote, their opinion doesn’t mean squat.

Quick side note:  Is it just me, or does “LGBT” sounds too much like a sandwich?

“But Danny,” you whine even louder, “didn’t the Supreme Court knock down DOMA, thus opening the door to this kind of thing?” (DOMA is the “Defense of Marriage Act – signed by Bill Clinton which defined marriage as between a man and a woman).  Hmmm….not really.  Basically the repeal of DOMA showed that the Supreme Court recognized that defining marriage wasn’t the federal government’s place, that put definition of marriage back to the state.

And later, the same year part of DOMA was repealed, Shelby, the judge from a lower court, said the state couldn’t define it either.

I’ve read quite of bit about gay marriage. I’ve read the arguments for, and I’ve read the arguments against. I’ve even read articles where the writer uses copious amounts of inordinately profuse, abstruse, and perplexing vocabulary. When reading these articles I always think, “Whatever, dude, what-ev-er (or dudette if you are one.)” In my mind very few people get it, on either side of the issue.

Captain Obvious

It’s sad. There are faces involved. The roughly 1,400 same-sex couples who were married in Utah are in limbo.  Are they married or not?  These people are being used as pawns.  I know my butt-hurt liberal friends are going to howl at that phrase, but it’s true.  They are being used as pawns.   The district attorney who authorized the county clerks to issue gay marriage license knew this was going to happen.

In my little brain the real issue here isn’t gay marriage. That is just the face of it. The real issue is States’ Rights.  Sadly, most people (in this case those in favor of the judges ruling on gay marriage) aren’t looking at the big picture. They either don’t get–or they don’t care–that you can’t pick up one side of a stick. They have an issue and if one activist federal judge can overrule the will of the people, to them, the end justifies the means.

To me that is wrong. Good ends should come about from good means.

Think about it.  We live in a representative democracy.   Generally speaking if a law is made from the elected legislators we, the people, are accepting of it.  Almost all of the most decisive issues in the country are brought about judicially.

Whatever your opinion on gay marriage, for it or against it, it should be the voice of the people who decides. We don’t live in an aristocracy, where the smart people tell the stupid how to live.  In the United States, judges don’t have the right, and should stop trying, to invent laws.

 

LIFEZILLA:  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice…you probably have boobs.

Piss off

 

Party

 

Written in stone

Gay Marriage

First and foremost I’m well aware that my personal thoughts and feelings on this matter, although correct, don’t matter.  Not all the numbers are in yet, but early polling shows that no one cares what I think.

As I already BRILLIANTLY stated in past articles, it would be impossible for me to care less who sleeps with whom (Or is it whom sleeps with who? Whom/Whoever it is, I think we can all agree “sleeping” isn’t what the debate is about.)

Over the past several days I have seen a plethora of my friends change their profile pictures on Facebook to “equal” signs in support of legalizing gay marriage.  In my little brain, those equal signs are a clear indication that gay marriage opponents have lost the battle, and consequently the entire war in the process. And, judging on how they have framed the debate, deservingly so.

Gay Marriage

All over the internet I have seen the same theme from the opponents of gay marriage.  It’s either “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” or “the book of Leviticus says…” or “gay sex is just icky.”

That’s how those people feel.  I don’t want to dismiss their feelings outright.  Feelings are real, I get that.

Let’s look at these arguments one at a time:

“Adam and Steve” – the ONLY reason this works at all is that it rhymes. “If the glove don’t fit you must acquit.”

“Leviticus says…” – The Old Testament also says you can’t eat hot dogs, or shellfish and you should stone people to death for shopping on Sunday.  If you believe that Jesus is the Christ then you also believe he fulfilled the law of Moses.

“Gay sex is just icky” – Off the top of my head I can list a whole slew of heteros who I shudder to think about, or ever envision them doing the horizontal bone dance (ew gross, I just thought of some – auuuuck pass the ‘brain bleach’).

In my little, newly bleached brain I think the best argument in favor of gay marriage is that “Gay Divorce Court” on TV would be HILARIOUS.  But instead, the group in favor of gay marriage framed the argument around it being a civil liberty.

I have a problem with this for two reasons:  The first is, this is a tactic the left always uses.  It honestly drives me crazy about liberals. If they want something, and they don’t want to have to explain why, they hide it behind a civil liberty. As much as they may want it to be, marriage is NOT a civil liberty. Gay people can vote, go to the same store as everyone, go the same school and can drive on the same highway. What they can’t do is marry someone of the same sex. But neither can I, nor a black, nor a Hispanic. The second reason it bothers me is it forever slams the debate shut.  From now until the end of time being opposed to any form of gay marriage, for any reason, is an announcement that you believe in, and fight for inequality. It is synonymous to advocating getting those who are different from you riding in the back of the bus or drinking from a different water fountain.  Anyone who even suggests a little bit of caution in redefining an institution that, more than likely, predates civilization itself is easily dismissed with no intellectual effort. Why would you listen to such people?  They are clearly bigots, haters, homophobes and knuckle draggers. They have no place in the discussions that will shape the brave new world in which we now live.

You know what?  I just realized the antonym for synonym is antonym.  Well played antonym.  Well played.

Modern-Family

Personally I’m for civil unions.  My sister and her life partner have two children. They are wonderful parents.  They have spent tens of thousands of dollars making it so if one of them dies the other gets legal custody. Then there is the stupid business about gay couples not being allowed to visit their partners in the hospital, or not being able to get survivor benefits.  With a civil union all that stuff is done away with, and that to me is a good thing. One piece of paper and you’re done.  I see no reason why gay couples shouldn’t be allowed to do these things.

The big problem is that words mean things.  If you allow society to redefine marriage then eventually marriage will mean everything which will mean it means nothing, and I don’t think that is a good place to go.  “Feelings” and “Love” aren’t a good precedent for a legal discussion.  We are going to have to go through this debate over and over as polygamy and any other variances of marriage rear its head.  Let’s say I’m a 50 year old man who is a widower. My 25 year old daughter and I want to get married. We are both of legal age, and I had never been inappropriate with her growing up.  If “feelings” are what it’s all about, why would you want to stop us? “We love each other.”

I know gays and pedophiles are not the same, but there is a very real push to make pedophilia legal. If it becomes legal what is to stop a 50 year old man from marrying a 12 year old boy? “We love each other.”

What if a man is legally married to a woman, and comes out gay. He loves his wife and his gay lover. Why can’t they all get married? “We love each other.”

If they legalize gay marriage there is going to be a TON of unintended consequences. Again, once “feelings” become precedence it’s going to open up a whole crap load of other issues.  I think an institution that has been around for 6,000 years shouldn’t be pitched on a whim. That’s why, in my little brain, this is an issue for the states to decide. The people of the state, NOT THE JUDGES.  It needs to be put on the ballot.  We would be able to see what the obstacles are and if we decide in the future to make a change we will be doing so informed.

I dunno.  Maybe I’m a knuckle dragger.

 

LIFEZILLA:  I’m not close-minded.  I’m just right.

Selective Outrage

 

Grapes of Wrath