Tag Archives: DWTS

Banana Republic

If you know me personally this may come as a shock to you.  When I was in high school I was involved in Drama.  I know,  I know.  Shocking.  I, the introvert, the chronically shy person you know, was once somewhat of an extrovert.  I had zero acting ability, but I loved hanging out with people who did.

In high school I was involved with a group the school district put together.  It was called PRIDE.  Pride stood for “Peers Responsible In Drug Education.”  It was a lot of fun.  We would drive around to other schools, mainly elementary or middle schools, and we would sing, dance and teach workshops on how to “say no” to drugs, have self-esteem, stuff like that.  I got to meet and work with kids from other high schools.  I made lifetime friends.

One time we were invited to Washington, D.C. to perform in front of the Presidential council.  It was REALLY cool.

We had a really full schedule, and one day to sight-see.  LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Washington, D.C.

On the sightseeing day a group of friends and I walked into “The Banana Republic.”  It was maybe the second time in my life I bought myself clothes.  The girl who helped me pick out the clothes made me feel smokin’ hot when I was wearing them.

On September 20, this year, at a Ford Stamping plant our “campaigner-n-chief” said “We’re not some banana republic.”  Upon hearing these words I found myself in an odd position.  I completely agreed with the President.  America is definitely NOT a Banana Republic.  Have you ever been to the DMV?  Most of America dresses like they belong in a leper colony.  Definitely not a high fashion retail store.

And then I thought, “Maybe there is something I don’t understand,” so I went to the source of all knowledge: “Wikipedia.”  According to Wikipedia a “Banana Republic” is apparently a political term used to describe a country where the political leaders are in cahoots with corporations, where government employees exploit there posts for personal gain or favors, and where the Press is either corrupt or state ran.


In just the last few weeks:

We have World War II vets being turned away from a memorial built in their honor, but a Pro-Amnesty group was still allowed to use the National Mall for a reform rally.

Enemy of the State

We have a busload of elderly tourist ordered back on the bus at Yellowstone National Park, and then detained at their hotel by armed park rangers.  The park rangers were ARMED.  (Quick side note: have you ever wondered where park rangers go on vacation to “Get away from it all”?)

We recently had a report of emails from 2012 where the IRS shared confidential taxpayer information with the White House.

On October 8th the President had a press conference.  Just days after the disastrous roll-out of Obamacare, any guesses how many questions the press asked the President regarding it?  Anyone?  Anyone?  If you guessed zero you would be right.  ZERO questions were asked about the nightmarish start of the biggest social policy program in history.  Zero.

sinking ship

Normally, within 36 hours, families of fallen U.S. service members receive a death benefit of $100,000.  The night before the shut down a bill was passed to include funding for the military. Five families of loved ones recently killed in Afghanistan were forced to wait for the death benefit because the Pentagon insisted the funding for the military didn’t include death benefits.

So, to recap, we have certain groups allowed to use the National Mall, we have park rangers acting like thugs, the White House and the IRS playing footsies with each other, we have the press in bed with the government, and Washington bureaucrats playing games by delaying benefits.

I’m admittedly not the brightest penny in the pond, but that kinda sounds like a banana republic.  At a minimum it appears we are on the road.  Or is it just me?

“But Danny,” you whine, “it’s the Republican’s fault for shutting down the government.”  Yeah…not so much.  Granted, it is being reported that way.  And if you listen to the Democrats it’s even worse.  Nancy Pelosi said the Republicans are “legislative arsonists”; White House press secretary Jay Carney said the Republicans are engaging in “blatant extortion”, and my personal favorite, senior White House adviser Dan Pfeiffer said the Republicans are trying to negotiate “with a bomb strapped to their chest.”  It seems like every time I turn on the TV every Democrat says the same thing, “We refuse to negotiate with a gun being held to our head.”

Gun?  What gun?

on and off

First, the House Republicans voted to fund all of government, except Obamacare,  Obama gasped in horror and Senate Democrats refused to pass it.  That started the government shut down.

Then the Republicans said “okay,” voted to fully fund the government, but wanted to delay the implementation of Obamacare for one year. Obama gasped in horror again and Senate Democrats refused to pass it.

Finally, the Republicans voted to fully fund the government, but added a requirement that there be no special waivers for big business, no special waivers for members of Congress and their staff.  That everyone live under Obamacare. If anyone gets a waiver then everyone, every individual is eligible to the same waiver.  Obama and the Senate Democrats fainted like Victorian virgins, then refused to pass it.

Clearly it’s the Republicans that are effing everything up.

If the Republicans had a brain in their collective head they would say the same thing every time a microphone was in front of their face.  “How can Obamacare be the ‘Law of the land’ if certain, hand-picked, privileged groups and individuals, and their families, are exempted?  Not murdering is the law of the land, there are no waivers for that.  Not stealing is the law of the land, there are no waivers for that.  If Obamacare is the law of the land, there should be no waivers.”

Even a “Dancing with the Stars” watching, low information voter will understand that.

(The wife and I love “Dancing with the Stars.”)


LIFEZILLA:  Let’s face it.  Without ME the internet would just be AWESO

Shut down




Obama voters

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Something Wicked This Way Comes

You would think I would be over it now, but I’m still a little bitter about it.  I just still can’t believe how stupid the American Electorate is.  Now everyone is screaming about how the Republicans need to ‘reach out’ to this group or that group.  They need to ‘evolve.”  And you know what?  That may be true.  In fact, let’s say (for sake of argument) it’s 100% true.  Still.  We had one chance to steer the country away from a fiscal Greece-style cliff and what did we do?  We hit the gas.

Why?  Because of “birth control, binders and Big Bird,” oh my!!!

 As you can imagine, many of my more liberal friends have been teasing me this last week.  I can take it, bring it on.  What is…well…I don’t want to say its “sad,” because it is just part of the gig.  What’s “kind of sad” is that an uninformed vote means just as much as an informed one.  Don’t get me wrong; I get that people have different points of view. If President Obama is your guy and you can list off the reasons why, I have nothing but respect for that.  But, if your only two reasons are (and I honestly heard these) “He is just trying so hard, I just feel we need to give him a second chance,” or “Bush was just so bad,” you should just go back to watching “Dancing with the Stars” and let the grown-ups talk. (FYI, I really enjoy watching DWTS.)

As I look back at it, what REALLY gets me is things like this:

This is honestly one of Obama’s super-charming campaign slogans that (apparently) many single women took to heart.  But let me let you in on a little secret: nothing about this election had anything to do with your “lady parts”.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE fan of “lady parts.”  HUGE FAN.  I’m a huge fan of women.  I look at my wife (who, four kids and twenty-one years later, is still SMOKIN’ HOT) and all she does: cleans, cooks, full time job, volunteer work, she works with the Young Women at our church–she amazes me.  I firmly believe all women should be put on a pedestal, I really do, for all those reasons.  Plus, when you put a woman up on a pedestal, it is easier to look up her skirt (wicked grin).

To me it is ironic that women, who supposedly are strong, voted to be taken care of by government.

“But Danny,” you whine, “what about contraception?”  Either way the election went, nothing would have changed in the realm of contraception.  Nothing, zero, zip, noda, regardless of who won.

“But Danny,” you continue to whine, “what about abortion?”  It amazes me that abortion rears its ugly head every election.  It is one of those divisive issues that doesn’t mean a thing.  Regardless of your personal thoughts on abortion, for it or against it, the fact Roe v. Wade was brought about judiciously, took that debate entirely out of the legislative arena. In other words, you cute little bugger you, no president or Congress could pass any laws to undermine it as long as that precedent stands.

Yes, it’s true: Romney could have appointed Supreme Court justices that might overturn that precedent (though I doubt it).  But even if he did, NOTHING would have changed. Congress has codified the principles of Roe v. Wade into federal law, so the only way to completely overturn it would be, the Republicans would have to control the White House, Congress, and 60 votes in the Senate (something that has never happened in the history of the republic), and that is assuming all Republicans are pro-life.

Now I’m well aware that I’m being completely hypocritical with this next statement.  I get it.  I just can’t believe anyone would base their vote on ONE issue.

The biggest threat to anyone’s “lady parts” is the fiscal solvency of your nation.  That threat is actually real.  The made-up bull crap about abortion and contraception is just that: Crap.  How could anyone vote for anything based on phantom stories when we have a very real and compelling prospect of an irrecoverable economic disaster?  Un-be-freaking-lievable.

In case you can’t tell, I’m still amazed, and a little peeved at the election results.


LIFEZILLA:  I don’t know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now.