Things I want my sons to know

This one was a little bit hard for me to write.  You see, I have wanted my little website here to have mass appeal, something for everyone.  It’s just that I…well…(hmmmm).  Let me explain.

My second son, Christopher, is seventeen years old.  The church I belong to is taking all the 16-18 year olds (the Young Men) up to a camp this week.  They asked the parents to secretly write a letter to their sons.  At the end of the week the boys will be presented with the letters.  My wife and I were planning on writing it together, but she ended up writing it herself.  This doesn’t bother me at all.  I had actually started a list of things to write about and have chosen to share them here on the website. Many of the things I wrote down have mass appeal, while others are particular to my faith.  My internal struggle was in deciding if I wanted to include the particulars here.  I finally decided to include them.  I figured I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t.

Things I want my sons to know

Some people are just jerks:  It has always amazed me how much the opinions of others matter.  Their opinions don’t.  I once heard someone say that “you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought of you if you realized how often they do”. Think about it. You have family, friends, associates, neighbors and a list of others who think you’re a great guy.  You have one person who doesn’t like you and it’s all you can think about.  That’s like going to a park to have a picnic and putting your blanket by the only pile of dog crap.

First dates should always be fun, and cheap.  If the young woman you have on a date with you can’t have fun unless there is a $90.00 steak in front of her – take her home.  You don’t want any part of that.

Pray and be a spiritual leader.

Get an education.  My biggest regret of my life is not finishing college.  It isn’t the piece of paper I miss.  It’s what it represents. KNOWLEDGE.  Remember, your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.  If college isn’t your thing (it should be) be educated in the field you choose.  You will never regret it.

When paying your tithing, remember the first 10 percent is 10%.  The last 10 percent is 100%.  Think about it.

Don’t ever believe what you’re told. Seriously.  Don’t ever believe it.  Be critical of everything you hear.  That includes your teachers, professors, media, church leaders, and parents.  There is such thing as Truth.  Find it.  Just don’t blindly follow anyone.

A boy becomes a man when a man is needed.

Womanhood and motherhood are only equal to manhood and Priesthood IF a man magnifies his Priesthood.  That means you have to work at it.  Men, by our nature, are selfish.  The Priesthood helps us out of our shell.  It “forces” us to look to the outside and see how we can help our fellow man.  That could mean setting up chairs, or shoveling snow for the neighbors.  Look for ways to serve.

Be patriotic.  Does the United States have problems?  Yes.  Are there parts of our history that are embarrassing?  Absolutely.  The United States is still the best country in the world.  Remember, this country is the first country to ever be born.  Ever.  Every other country in the history of the world was made from brutal /  tribal warfare.  The United States was created by a brilliant set of men who rationally produced something by thought.

From now until the day you die, your brain and your penis will be fighting a never-ending battle to see who rules you, your decision making, your choices, and your future. You CANNOT let your penis win.  It is so true men were given two heads, and only enough blood to control one at a time.  Your penis is tricky, dastardly, diabolical, deceiving, deceptive, and…well…a prick.  DO NOT make any life decisions with an erection.  Sexual urges are not bad.  They are good. There is a time and a place for them.

Who you marry is the single biggest decision you will EVER make.  Your current and future happiness depend on this decision.  I could expound on this for pages.  But I’m going to let that stand.

Once you are married NEVER say the word “divorce.”  Once it is said, it’s an option.  My mom gave your mother and me this advice before we were married.  It is BRILLIANT.

Learn to save money while you’re young because you’ll need it some day.

The grass is never greener. Women are different animals.  Although they have their personal quirks and idiosyncrasies, there isn’t much difference about what makes them them. I sincerely believe if you took 100 random men and asked them to list the 10 things that most annoy them about their wives, the lists would be pretty much the same.

I’m bringing this up because there will be a point in your marriage were you’ll think “there has got to be a better option than this.”  Chances are there isn’t. Every relationship goes through stages.  The “honeymoon” stage is the funnest and a lot of marriages end when that stage ends.  It’s sad.  Just remember the grass is never greener.  Make sure you commit to the right person so that your love for and attraction to her will help you deal with the inevitable “drrrrrrs (eyeroll)” period.

STAY OUTTA DEBT!!!!  OHMIGOSH stay out of debt.  It is prison.  It is the worst thing you could do.  Education, maybe.  Modest home, if you have to.  Modest car, maybe.  Dinner and a movie, NEVER.

Always buy quality.  Again advice my mom gave me.  If there are two garlic presses for sale, one for $3.00 the other for $10.00, if you have to, save up and buy the one for ten bucks.  You will never regret it.

Don’t ever be a bully and don’t ever start a fight.  But always defend yourself.

Do whatever you have to do to provide for your family If that means working three jobs – do it. Trust me, it sucks.  FYI, if you get an education your ability to provide really increases.

Speak up.  Don’t be afraid to say what you feel.  If you have something meaningful to say, say it.

Never pass up the opportunity to Shut-up.  I know it doesn’t mesh with what I just said, but…you’ll figure it out.

Peer pressure is a scary thing.  Be a good leader and others will follow.

Treat everyone with respect.  Especially women, girls and children

Whatever you’ve been asked to do, do just a little bit more. Exceed expectations. If your Mom asks you to wash the dishes, wash them AND wipe off the counter.  If your Dad asks you to mow the lawn, mow it AND pick up any stray trash.  If your parent’s are expecting a ‘C’ grade, fight and claw for a ‘B.’ I know this sounds like nothing but extra work.  But in business, it makes it so you are irreplaceable to your employer, and gets you new customers.  In your relationships, it builds trust.  The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is only five letters.  Just a little ‘extra.’

Be strong and tender at the same time.

Sharpen the saw When I was in my early twenties I read “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey.  The seventh habit is “Sharpen the Saw.”  There are three aspects to you.  Your body, your spirit and your brain.  Make time to sharpen each.

And last of all  Remember who you are and what you represent.  Be good, do good.


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8 responses to “Things I want my sons to know

  1. Great words of wisdom, Danny! More sons need fathers to give them advice like this!

  2. You are truly gifted…love the list. 🙂

  3. Danny you are amazing! Every young man needs to read this list! As I look at the pictures of your boys I can’t believe how much they have grown and want to compliment you both on being such great parents! We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends!

  4. great article. you lack of college degree did not hurt your wisdom or writing skills. 🙂

  5. Excellent words of wisdom, sir!
    Also, it’s never too late to invest more education in yourself. My older brother started Med school in his mid 40’s and now has a very rewarding career @ the VA hospital. And of course you know I bounced around from job to job and school to school until I decided to persue my passion @ age 30. It’s believe it’s do-able once you identify & choose to magnify your passion no matter what age you are. (If you need a little prodding on identifying your passion… let me speak for myself & all your readers-IT’S WRITING, Goofball!!!) Just so you know, I will be the first in line @ your book signing once you are published. yeah, I said it! Although, I may disagree w/ your politics @ times , I definitely believe in you!!! Go for it, Bro!!

  6. Pingback: It’s time to MAN UP!!!! | Lifezilla

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